My site
"I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle!" - Alice, Alice In Wonderland.
Answer.

There she laid crying, in the silence of the night. Her iPod was still playing.

"Drown out your mind"- the lyrics to the song seemed to describe exactly how she felt at that moment. Why is it, that she always seem to cry when she's all alone, without any sound? She doesn't have that answer to the seemingly simple question, and she's still searching for an answer.

It's all so strange and peculiar to her. Why?
Why?
Secretly, she thinks that she already knows the answer.
She's tired of acting in front of the world.
It's all so easy- to put on that fake yet assuring smile.
It's okay, since everyone needs that.
It's okay.
Nobody seem to read through it- or they didn't mind.

She's weary of all these.
Yet, the show must go on.
Of course, bounded to the contract, the lead actress, surely must continue with her stunning performance.
Oh, see how much the crowd loves her!
They sing praises to her name, they bow down to her.

Yes, she's the icon of self indulgence.
Just what they all need.
There is no black and white in her world.
Only grey.
What is black and what is white?
She can no longer tell.

If you insist on having her classify things into black and white,
She'll still be torn between the 2 simple choices.
Why?
Of course, she knows it all too well.
It's positive that there will be a bit of black in white,
And a bit of white in black.
Grey- that's the perfect colour to classify everything.
That's what she ultimately believes in.

"And it breaks my heart"

Then, the answer to her question struck her.
How silly could she be? It was so evident.
The reason as to why she was crying...
Ain't it obvious?
It was because she could hear the shattering of her heart in the silence of the lonely night.
Her heart broke into a million pieces, yet nobody noticed.
Nobody cared.

It's a process all must go through,
But I walk this path in solitude.
The sleeping pills took effect.