This is what's going on- get that.
{ Wednesday, November 10, 2010
7:38 AM }
First of all, don't take me as an emo kid.
I am not.
You ought to be shot if you think I am.
& Grammar nazis, stay out.
I may be speaking to diff ppl at diff times, so make it out yourself.
& I may sound like an asshole, all these are my pov.
So get the hell out if you have nothing good to say.
kthxbai.
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You'll never understand things unless you get a taste of it.Yes, I can't agree with the quote even more.
Being humans, we try to understand other people's emotions, we try to make things better (for most).
However, there's this problem, we won't feel for others unless we've been through similar experiences.
The situation now can't be more simple to see.
There're silent fights going on, we're pissed at each other.
Plainly put, some of us strongly dislike her.
I don't, I just get irked by her.
Annoyance causes unhapppiness see?
I don't hate her, I don't strongly dislike her, I just don't like her.
Why?
Reasons are actually rather obvious.
Because I realise many of you haven't detected it till now, I'm going to explain.
I'm not a master of explaination, so if you don't understand, refer to the source of the trouble.
FRIENDS.What words comes to your mind when you first see that word?
Let me tell you what comes to mine-
trust, encouragement, reliability.
The reasons as to why I get pissed with ppl usually come from these 3.
Being friends, trust,encouragement,reliability is important.
Trust is the only way a friendship lasts.
Encouragement gives you the motivation to mantain a friendship.
Reliability comes from the encouragement and trust you have.
First thing first, you have to realise that these 3 things work together in sync.
Without trust, there won't be encouragement.
Without encouragement, there's no reliability & responsibility.
Reliability and responsibility once again links back to trust.
See a cycle ? Link it to what's going on right now.
If you still don't, let me break it down for you.
Have you ever seen or heard what awful things she said about ppl?
Let's see- she totally put her friends down.
She insulted LW and Rach's abilities without considering about their feelings.
The fundamental fact about friendship in females (I'm sure you know that), is the fact that every female admitted into a group is treated as an individual, and thought to be an equal.
Putting down other ppl's abilities to show that you're good
ISN'T COOL.
More importantly, overseeing the fact that you were the one who taught them the wrong thing, or that they were the ones who tried to help you with studies and all just shows that you're unappreciative!
Were you there when LW said "F---" super loud in class because she taught LW the wrong thing and insist that LW was the nutcase who got her info wrong?
If you did, you would have realised that LW have been putting up with her for a long time.
We're humans, we have emotions.
There's a limit as to how much we can tolerate- we can't always keep our cool, that's a fact.
Another thing- from what I know, she insulted rach and then went to her house for some kind of study group acting like nothing's wrong.
Weird?
Weird is good- but not that kind of weird.
Trust is gone.Let's see, next thing on the list? Encouragement.
From what I see and understand, encouragement is when someone tells you that you can do it, or asks you to persevere on because they believe in you.
It's distasteful to know that your encouragements are trampled on like it's a worthless piece of trash.
I don't always keep up with the "trends", but one thing i know for sure is that she doesn't take our advices and encouragements for what it really is.
Look, advices/encouragements aren't what she interprets in to be, what we really mean is to ensure that she pushes through, but she took it the other way.
Moving on to the next point on encouragement.
Let me first ask you a question- is it encouraging to know that your friend thinks that you're worthless/stupid compared to her?
Ha, in the first place, what kind of friend does that?
Let's see, in sec2, she claimed that she was the only one who could get into an A class.
Don't remind me the ppl change, I know that.
But apparently she hasn't changed!
From what I know, she was insensitive enough to just reveal LW's results to her.
Furthermore, she talked insulted rach's chem abilities and...talked about chinese in a manner that I won't want to reveal.
In other words, encouragement is done for.Let's move on to responsibility and reliability.
Friends are suppose to be there when you're in need right?
Seems to me that she lacks the ability.
Let's see... when ____ was sick, she was supposedly her best friend at that point in time.
However she made no attempts to collect her work for her, AT ALL.
She even needed LW to probe her, like "you're her friend, isn't it?", before she took 1 damn piece of worksheet.
HOW RELIABLE!Responsibilty.
Here I'm referring to responsibility of words.
Please be fucking accurate in judging ppl.
Saying that someone "Used" to be nice seem to be more than inappropriate to me.
The reason why she "used" to be nice to you is simply because you have stepped on her tail.
The same person is still nice, just that she have lost faith in you, don't make her sound like the bad guy here when the root of the problem starts with you.
Please be responsible at least and stop trying to make the situation seem like someone else's fault or shift some blame to her.
When one wants to judge, at least she must have some kind of social skills.
That means that you're able to converse with most ppl, work with ppl you dislike and such.
If you want others to empathize with you, learn to feel for others first.
It's a cycle.
Don't expect others to just give in to you, learn to at least appreciate their efforts.
I know that she's trying to enter the group once again when she last tried.
I know.We know.We all do.The problem is that she still doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut.
There is a time and place for everything.
Arguements about facts are just stupid and irritating to the core.
It's a fact- why the fuck are you argueing on that?!
Once bitten, twice shy.
Ppl having put through her insults are not likely to trust her again.
In fact, they are more easily irritated.
That's why the more she attempts yet not shut her mouth, the worse the situation gets.
Words are like razors.They can cut into others' hearts.I may not be the one who's betrayed or backstabbed, so I can't describe things in full.
One thing is for sure- I feel angry for my friends, those who were wrongly accused.
I know that they can achieve so much more and sometimes they doubt themselves, but I've always tried to assure them that they can do it.
It pains my heart to know that another friend of ours', who's suppose to be sensitive and appreciative, is telling them otherwise, putting them down.
For what reason, I will not know, cos' I've never insulted someone's studying abilities when they work hard for it.
What I'm guessing is that it's for self satisfaction.
Why am I writing this post?
For my own selfish reasons- I need to rant.
I can't believe that my personality has been doubted.
It's unintentional, yes. I know it. I get where you're coming from.
But it's incredibly hurtful to know that you were thought to be who's uncivilized.
& here you are thinking that you've been trying to keep your cool.
I thought I was good enough to not show my frustrations as much.
Ask any of my guy friends- I usually scold them or expressed my anger directly, in their face.
I've only held back cos' you guys are girls, and I thought that I should give ppl more chances.
I thought I did a good job- I even managed to persuade ppl to let her stay on in the prom table cos' I knew that she had nowhere to turn to.
That's as much as I can do, as far as I can go- I am annoyed too, but I tried to contain it.
Now I'm doubting my abilities to pull this off.
How is prom gonna pull through this bullcrap?
I've come to a point that I've given up on believing in her, believing in my logic.
You know what? I'm gonna treat her like an invisible being just to keep on being civil.
Because the moment I look or talk to her, I know that I'm gonna roll my eyes and resist scolding her.
I'm not going to care.
I'm losing faith.
All I know is that she's going to go out of my life,
But the rest of you are staying.
I don't want our friendship to go sour over her, and like some tolerant saint in our group said, "It's not worth getting angry over her".
Of all ppl, you (I hope you know I'm talking to you), ought to know that we appreciate your efforts to mantain the peace.
But see, it's too late.
The mirror has shattered into pieces- you can't mend it anymore, you'll still see a crack in it even if you managed to.
I'm so incredibly angst now that I feel like crying.
I know you don't mean it, and ppl keep telling me to ignore what you said, but I'm still in shock.
I'll get over it, before prom comes, cos' that day will be almost perfect- i'll ignore her. I will.
But don't try to pull the group together, it won't work.
I'm not making sense, I know it.
But the game's over, it's time you see it.
Ps: I just got a flashback. In actual fact, she did put me down lots of times. During dance, she told me to not be too slow, but it ended up as me guiding her. And she put me down about certain subs too- thanks man, just thanks. I'm gonna erase these memories of you from my brain. /deletes stuff.
I am a tired human being.