Lessons: No 1.
{ Monday, March 28, 2011
11:24 AM }
The first time I met her,
She taught me a precious lesson.
And thereafter, it never stopped.
Lesson no 1: Get back on your feet.
She wore a sad look.
It was almost unbearable to look at such an expression,
Yet I couldn't take my eyes off her.
In her eyes, I saw nothing but emptiness.
& when when she noticed that I was silent,
She immediately wore a smile on her face.
Did she force herself to smile?
I don't know.
All I remember was that even though she seemed to stand strong,
And even though her smile seemed so light,
Somehow I could hear her heart singing a lonely melody.
It was a melody that pierced my heart,
Yet as sweet as a lullaby.
It soothed my agitated heart, but at the same time, filled it up with a strange wave of loneliness.
"Hey, are you alright?"
She held out her hand to me.
I reciprocated.
Her fingers were long, slender, cold.
I shuddered.
"Say, how long have you been in that pathetic state?"
The question stunned me, left me dumbfounded.
This woman, she's so straightforward.
Not hesitant at all.
& even as she asked me such a hurtful question, she did it with a straight face.
"Months".
"It's about time you get back on your feet. Look at you, look at yourself clearly".
Saying that, she took my hands.
Why should she care about me? I was convinced that she had an ulterior motive.
Reluctantly, I followed. Where were we heading to?
I was not sure.
But it was as though I was under a spell, I couldn't refuse her.
They said she could manipulate people's minds.
They said she could read you like a book.
That's what I've heard before meeting her.
They said that she was perfect.
Perfectly conditioned, a perfect doll, a perfect tool.
I wasn't convinced that they were right, because I sense her emotions, though she concealed them so well.
Even though her hands were cold, I felt warm.
We entered a dark room.
I couldn't see anything.
Silence.
Then she lit a candle and there, in front of me, I saw my reflection.
What she said was right.
I did look pathetic.
There was mud caking on my face.
And I was dressed in nothing but rags.
I looked like nothing but a disgrace.
Sighing, she pointed to this desolate looking creature in the mirror.
"You know, you're pretty useless. Stare at your reflection. Can't you see, after you get through this, you'll escape. Someday, you will."
"Well, you didn't."
I glanced at her.
Surprisingly, she had a calm look on her face.
I wasn't sure what to say. I thought that she'll be offended.
"It's true. Maybe I never will. But, who knows what will happen if I don't try? Time won't stop for me, even in this cage. If you aren't pretty to look at in this place, you won't be
able to repay your debt. More of such experiences are to come, dear child. You'll have to get use to it. Rather than being trapped in that small cage of yours', isn't it better to roam in a bigger cage like mine? I still have a pair of legs, therefore, I must keep moving forward. You can't stop here. You can't afford to."
With that, She took a rag and cleaned up my face.
So gently, as a guardian would.
" Tell me, will you be my apprentice? If you're willing, help me do my hair tonight".
Maybe I would be able to escape with her help, I thought.
Maybe I would succeed.
Maybe she was right.
After all, she was the only one who could roam around freely even though she's under the contract.
That night, I approached her cautiously.
They called her Muse because she was the most capable of creating life in this living hell.
Her hair was dark and long, and as I combed it for her, I felt like I was touching silk.
She never uttered a word as I got her ready for the night's ordeals.
With a poker face, she left for her job.
After her work, I secretly went to her room to check if she was fine.
Under the full moon, the light illuminated on her dark skin.
Her brows met slightly.
She was looking at the moon with a gentle look, and though her mouth didn't move, I thought I could hear her sighing.
Almost immediately after that, she sniggered to herself, she smiled.
There were cuts on her hands, and blood was dying her gown crimson.
Whose blood? I never knew.
Despite her plight, she never cried.
The dagger in her hand smelled of death.
She took their life.
& we knew her attachment to them.
Under the moonlight, her silky hair moved elegantly with the spring breeze.
Even though her lips were dyed red and her wounds maroon, I thought she looked magnificent.
I can never forget that smile.
It was one filled with so many emotions- sadness, loneliness and most of all, relief.
Was she glad that she finally have to end the torturous relationships?
In this cage, she may be the only one who's right.
Her heart called out, with every kill, she's one step closer to freedom.
At that moment, I realized,
To achieve freedom, I must first get back on my feet.
The first lesson learnt, getting back on my feet.
I am a tired human being.