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"I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle!" - Alice, Alice In Wonderland.
My dear bad friend/ dream dairy
{ Monday, March 28, 2011
11:46 PM }
Hey my friend, are you getting irritated by me?
I know you are.
But you know what?
Keep your emotions in check, cos' I'm even more irritated.
I've been offended by your words, but I didn't even mention it.
It's petty (imo) to flip over something someone said to you,
That's why I don't retaliate.
But that doesn't mean that I don't feel,
I'm a fucking human too.
& just in case you don't know,
Let me remind you that I can still remember what you said that offended me even years back.
Why?
Simply because it hurt me when you said that, and you didn't even notice.
You've got to be less dense, my dear.
Don't tell me that I'm self-righteous, cos' you are too.
& even more so than me.
& years back, do you remember bawling at me for something I didn't do?
I sure do, cos' it made me feel so full of unjust, and you never did apologize even after you found out the truth.
Do you remember speaking to me in a cynical tone, and making fun of my looks?
Do you remember acting high and mighty, saying that I'm not as good as you?
Do you remember saying something in a disgusted tone, almost insinuating that I'm a slut?
I remember.
I never once forgot.
But yet, because I thought it was immature to be offended by such comments,
I let it slide.
It's sickening to hide these feelings. It really is.
I can forgive, but I never forget.
You forgot all these,
& continuously add on to this list.
You may not know but, you have unwittingly left a dent on my heart.
Thanks for stepping all over it.
Thanks for giving me a chance to mature, and train my tolerance level.
I won't change to the likes of you.
Neither should you change for me.
The world needs people like us for society to function.
One who acts nonchalent, and tries to stay calm no matter what.
The other who's rash, and shows it all.
Without you, my world would be less.
Thanks for being such a douche, cos' I needed that to appreciate others.
& Of course, with your doings, I learnt to trust only the right friends.
ps; this is not in reference to any particular person, it's kind of like a collation of the bad experiences I have. I form an image of a horrible "friend" with all these experiences.
----------
Ah right. I was suppose to talk about my dream.
I'm gonna keep it short.
The setting was in a kampong, and it started with a girl rowing a boat across the lake.
Then someone called out to her, and she responded.
The person sprayed insect repellant into her eyes, blinding her temporarily and kidnapped her.
The next morning, under a tree, they found a pair of legs.
The upper body of the girl was gone- it was the kampong girl.
So an investigation started, and I found the killer (who happens to be my classmate, wtf, though it's not anyone I know of irl).
Oh and, that's all cos' I'm too lazy.
In any case, please ignore the post I wrote below.
I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.