My site
"I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle!" - Alice, Alice In Wonderland.
Dear X

Dear life,
I have been questioning myself a lot lately.
There seems to be so much craziness thrown at me.
It seems like I am getting too old to fight.
Sometimes, I believe that I will drown in all these little problems.

Dear heart,
Recently you have been acting up a lot.
That feeling that you get when I start doubting myself never fails to get me.

Dear me,
I think you just need some time to sit back and take your mind off work.
Your life does not revolve around work, it shouldn't be.
You need to be more positive.

Dear you,
Thank you for supporting me through all these days.
It is comforting to have a shoulder to lean on,
And somebody to run to when things go wrong.
__________________

Fatigue has grabbed me.
And I have only realized it when half my soul is spent away on unimportant things.
A ball of unknown emotions is growing inside me, about to eat me alive.
It's the sudden sadness that strikes me from time to time that reminds me of who I used to be.
This feeling of nostalgia, reminds me of what I promised myself.
It is almost sickening to know that I am losing myself (or should I say, my muse) because of school work.
What was once revitalizing and fulfilling is now wariness and doubt.
It's funny to think that I could handle more than this. 
It's funny to think I could achieve when I had more problems, but now stumbling because of a few.
It's despairing.

I'm bitter.
Reflecting back, I learnt.
Learnt new things. Learnt about me.
Intellectual stimulation, teachers who inspire, things that inspire, people that inspire - that keeps me going.
But, all that is gone.
I rely on a few, going to them when things go wrong.
But even these few people are getting consumed by work.
Well, at least I hope they are taking away something from their work.

Accusations, when there are efforts.
Suffocating.
It's revolting to work like this.
It's revolting to be me.
The me who's drowned in work.

Dear me,
haven't you learnt?